Two years. Life does not look like I had planned. I wash myself in the form of wudu remembering what I envisioned my life being. She had a name. She was going to be named Sara. It worked in Spanish, in Arabic and in English. She would also be given the middle name Nhis YA, […]

This post was previously published at the author’s blog.  Dear Saad: Some days I wonder if you can hear me… see me… smell me. For the longest time I felt your presence in my every move. I would wake up and start my morning rituals by imagining that you were sitting at my kitchen table […]

I must admit, I can’t wait until the year is over. I have had a difficult year first dealing with my partner’s passing, and then trying to figure out what follows the grieving process. Right after Saad’s passing, I found that my Muslim community had a rather complex and unexplored relationship with death. Many of […]

Originally published at the author’s personal blog, Identity Crisis. I don’t tell my story so people feel pity  or sympathy. I write it because it allows me to break down into pieces the reality that follows the death of a loved one. Ramadan is often said to be a month of reflection and closeness with […]

Originally published at the author’s personal blog, Identity Crisis. Perhaps it is absurd of me to think that Ramadan will ever be a time of peace and refection for me. From the moment I converted, my patience, my love for Islam and my faith have been constantly tested. Beyond the struggle of belonging to a […]